Yes - the downturn might affect your business dramatically
Yes - that just might be terminal
BUT remember:
“Pessimism is a totally useless philosophy since it probably won't work any way.”
Our job as business leaders is surely to win through a downturn like this and set the strategy and the tactics to do so.
So let's start by examining the problem:
Following the credit crunch finance is tight in the West and the prices of oil, steel and food have all increased dramatically wordwide. We have significant inflation being posted in a number of developing countries and finally we have an increasing number of profits warning from public companies in the West.
So how should we respond to this?
Firstly as far as your business is concerned you should be seeking to harvest cash and be really hard-nosed about any investment. It must generate an adequate and expeditious return. My advice is be super cautious with the banks – they caused a good deal of the problem and I don't think we can assume we can trust them at this time.
Next, now must be the time for you to work hard at improving your business efficiencies - and by that I mean not just your "shop floor" operations but wall-to-wall. To me the best measure of efficiency or productivity is simply added value per employee and you should be seeking to improve that continuously so that you are both lean and mean and fleet of foot.
If you are in an industry where you buy basic materials that are not fashion influenced and is worth helping to protect your margins by considering investing some of your cash in additional stocks at today's prices - that you can subsequently add value to and sell at tomorrow's inflated prices.
Finally in this area I would recommend that each and every time you think about recruiting question whether you could outsource that activity as an alternative.
You need to be tough but fair with your suppliers --negotiate simply everything and share with them your future plans and your confidence going forward. Never pay them late, however, no matter what the accountants might say, it will cost you in the end.
What about your markets?
If you look around there are a many markets for you to target that are thriving and will continue to do well. Obviously the oil rich countries of the Middle East and elsewhere are thriving and the so-called BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) continue to do well and are expected to be the leading economies of the world in the foreseeable future. Target them.
Some of the industry sectors that are thriving are all forms of mining - giving a particular boost to the economies of Australia and Canada (Canada is now referred to as the Saudi Arabia of phosphate -- it has one third of the world's supplies) and food production.
The energy industry - from oil and gas extraction through to sustainable, fossil fuels and nuclear power are all set to continue to thrive into the near future. The Aviation industry (but not western airlines) is thriving with record order books at both Boeing and Airbus (over six years of production with only 10% from the US). These companies increasingly outsource globally – target these suppliers like Meggitt in the UK who have just announced record results.
There are more billionaires in the world now than ever before - with large numbers in India, Russia and China as well as the West. Any industry or service sector where they spend their money will continue to thrive - be it super yachts or super hotels or super fashion. Can you sell to them?
Looking at customers generally you need to exploit your strengths mercilessly, you need to be seen to get in the shoes of your customers more, to customise and be creative. You should be moving your mindset from "sell" to "help" and focusing on a getting a "wow” from them each and every time they do business with you.
You need to bring out exceptional new products and you need to focus strongly on giving perceived added value to counter any suggestion that may be coming from customers that you might be inclined to lower prices - don't do it!
I'm sure it does not need saying that you must be very tough indeed on receivables in these times – that hard fought order, that great sale is worth nothing unless you get paid. It's probably prudent to assume a percentage of your customers will go bust in the next 12 months - and you don't want to be left with a big hit.
A word about your team.
Each and every one of your employees (and their partners) are reading and hearing a constant stream of bad news and depressing projections about the future and it is you that they are looking to for a lead. Despite what you might be feeling you need to exhibit a positive attitude at all times, you need to communicate and listen more than ever before and you need to demonstrate that you have the situation under control.
Research has shown that people follow leaders who are decisive, passionate and have fun – and that's what you need to exhibit.
Particularly in these times we need to challenge our paradigms, ramp up our creativity, and look to the big picture.
Otherwise known as:
Helicopters and Boxes!
(Staying in the Helicopter® and Thinking outside the Box)
- why not set up a helicopters & boxes team now?
Finally, for UK readers, I have just read that Goldman Sachs predicts that by 2020 the UK will have the highest the income per person in the world – we will be more prosperous than anybody!
– so all you’ve got to do is to get through ‘till then!
Enjoy!
© 2008 www.rogerharrop.com
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Golden Helicopter Award
This one's from Mike Ogilvie:
Following a long day in Manchester at PSA meeting having caught 8.30 plane from Gatwick, Derek Arden and I went to BA and asked to be seated in same row with one seat between us so we could spread out
Despite us having checked in that morning in Gatwick the man at the counter was very obliging at the sight of Derek's BA Silver executive card, and once he had changed our seats he was presented with a WOW card acknowledging his superb service by Derek
I noted his resulting beaming smile and stored this idea for future use - not realising how soon that would be
We went to the Executive lounge to be told by Jemma the receptionist that our plane was delayed by at least one hour until after 10pm, and that as we were the only two in the executive lounge , the lounge was to close at eight
Well "Arden the negotiator" went into action and asked if we could possibly be switched to the Heathrow flight, but Jemma was told by BA that as we had not got open tickets, the only way was if we paid them £69 for new tickets
Well that was far too much for two tired speakers, so we said we could not do that.
Derek was getting frustrated and explained how much he spent with BA each year but, remembering our recent experience, I pulled Derek aside and asked for one of his WOW cards. I said to Jemma that we realised she had done her best for us, but we could not justify spending the extra £69, but please accept this card as our recognition of her efforts on our behalf.
She smiled and we retired to the lounge to eat BA sandwiches and drink BA wine
15 minutes later Derek was called to reception and Jemma presented him with two tickets to Heathrow free of charge. She had appreciated the fact that we had not given her grief, and in fact had recognised her efforts on our behalf, so she called BA herself and persuaded them to switch our flights
WOW - we were smiling now, and when we picked up our cars from Gatwick before 10pm we realised our original flight would not have yet left Manchester
So Jemma Hodgkinson from Aviance Manchester terminal 3 has now been nominated by us for a Golden Helicopter award and we have written to her boss to congratulate him for having such brilliant team members
EVERYONE was a WINNER - so next time speakers, when your ego is threatening to take over, remember it might achieve more to be nice than to be angry.
So a Golden Helicopter Award goes to Jemma Hodgkinson from Aviance Manchester
Following a long day in Manchester at PSA meeting having caught 8.30 plane from Gatwick, Derek Arden and I went to BA and asked to be seated in same row with one seat between us so we could spread out
Despite us having checked in that morning in Gatwick the man at the counter was very obliging at the sight of Derek's BA Silver executive card, and once he had changed our seats he was presented with a WOW card acknowledging his superb service by Derek
I noted his resulting beaming smile and stored this idea for future use - not realising how soon that would be
We went to the Executive lounge to be told by Jemma the receptionist that our plane was delayed by at least one hour until after 10pm, and that as we were the only two in the executive lounge , the lounge was to close at eight
Well "Arden the negotiator" went into action and asked if we could possibly be switched to the Heathrow flight, but Jemma was told by BA that as we had not got open tickets, the only way was if we paid them £69 for new tickets
Well that was far too much for two tired speakers, so we said we could not do that.
Derek was getting frustrated and explained how much he spent with BA each year but, remembering our recent experience, I pulled Derek aside and asked for one of his WOW cards. I said to Jemma that we realised she had done her best for us, but we could not justify spending the extra £69, but please accept this card as our recognition of her efforts on our behalf.
She smiled and we retired to the lounge to eat BA sandwiches and drink BA wine
15 minutes later Derek was called to reception and Jemma presented him with two tickets to Heathrow free of charge. She had appreciated the fact that we had not given her grief, and in fact had recognised her efforts on our behalf, so she called BA herself and persuaded them to switch our flights
WOW - we were smiling now, and when we picked up our cars from Gatwick before 10pm we realised our original flight would not have yet left Manchester
So Jemma Hodgkinson from Aviance Manchester terminal 3 has now been nominated by us for a Golden Helicopter award and we have written to her boss to congratulate him for having such brilliant team members
EVERYONE was a WINNER - so next time speakers, when your ego is threatening to take over, remember it might achieve more to be nice than to be angry.
So a Golden Helicopter Award goes to Jemma Hodgkinson from Aviance Manchester
Friday, June 27, 2008
Golden Helicopter Award
My wife and I I have just spent a week in one of our favourite places - where we used to live - in Wembury near Plymouth in Devon.
Nearby in the Yealm Estuary are two idyllic villages - Newton Ferrers and Noss Mayo.
In Noss Mayo there is the most wonderful pub, The Ship Inn, in a delightful position by the creek, looking out across the two villages. The food is outstanding and the service second to none - so much so we went three times in 5 days!
So THE SHIP INN gets a well deserved GOLDEN HELICOPTER AWARD
Nearby in the Yealm Estuary are two idyllic villages - Newton Ferrers and Noss Mayo.
In Noss Mayo there is the most wonderful pub, The Ship Inn, in a delightful position by the creek, looking out across the two villages. The food is outstanding and the service second to none - so much so we went three times in 5 days!
So THE SHIP INN gets a well deserved GOLDEN HELICOPTER AWARD
Ditched Helicopter Award - Abbey
This comes from David Winch:
"I am moving shortly and, having been completely satisfied with Abbey's home insurance products in the past, I contacted them for a quote for the new place.
One of the first things they wanted was the postcode, which I gave. I was met with the classic 'Little Britain' "Computer says No" response!
"This is an incorrect postcode, Sir. Please can you give me the correct postcode so I can proceed with your quotation?"
So I informed them that:
a/. This was the postcode on the Estate Agent's particulars
b/. I had put this postcode into Streetmap.co.uk and it had showed me the correct location to view the property
c/. While we were talking, I put it into Multimap.co.uk and achieved the same correct result
d/. Also while we were talking, I had entered the address into the postcode finder on Royal Mail's website and it had given me the same postcode
"Ah, but my computer's telling me it doesn't recognise this postcode. Is it a new property?"
So I told them that it was approximately ten years old, but I was aware that the village in question had all its postcodes changed - about four years ago! - so I hoped their system might have caught up by now.
The poor operative had no where to go but to say once more that she couldn't proceed without a postcode that her computer deemed to be correct.
Are you surprised that I've gone elsewhere?"
A definite Ditched Helicopter Award to Abbey
"I am moving shortly and, having been completely satisfied with Abbey's home insurance products in the past, I contacted them for a quote for the new place.
One of the first things they wanted was the postcode, which I gave. I was met with the classic 'Little Britain' "Computer says No" response!
"This is an incorrect postcode, Sir. Please can you give me the correct postcode so I can proceed with your quotation?"
So I informed them that:
a/. This was the postcode on the Estate Agent's particulars
b/. I had put this postcode into Streetmap.co.uk and it had showed me the correct location to view the property
c/. While we were talking, I put it into Multimap.co.uk and achieved the same correct result
d/. Also while we were talking, I had entered the address into the postcode finder on Royal Mail's website and it had given me the same postcode
"Ah, but my computer's telling me it doesn't recognise this postcode. Is it a new property?"
So I told them that it was approximately ten years old, but I was aware that the village in question had all its postcodes changed - about four years ago! - so I hoped their system might have caught up by now.
The poor operative had no where to go but to say once more that she couldn't proceed without a postcode that her computer deemed to be correct.
Are you surprised that I've gone elsewhere?"
A definite Ditched Helicopter Award to Abbey
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
A Golden Helicopter Award

I've just had an operation on my back to release a trapped nerve at the wonderful Chiltern Hospital. I spent three nights with them and they were simply fabulous - but the very best thing about the hospital was that I could have a glass of wine with my evening meal - bliss!
So a definite Golden Helicopter Award to the Chiltern Hospital, Great Missenden.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Two Ditched Helicopter and a Golden Helicopter Award
The first comes from Philip Pagan:
" I would like to nominate the refuse department of Carlisle City Council for a ditched helicopter award.
Last week I was on holiday and my son forgot to put out our refuse which has recently been changed to twice weekly collection. As I did not want to put the refuse in my car I asked my son if I could borrow his works van and take it in that.
When I arrived at the council depot (a journey of about three miles) a little man jumped out of his tin hut and the conversation proceeded as follows:
Little Man: “You can’t bring trade waste in here”
Me: “Its not trade waste it’s my own refuse, I missed the collection earlier in the week”
Little Man: “You can’t come in here with a van weighing over 3.5 ton”
Me: “Okay, I will take my refuse out of the van and wheel it up it the skip on foot”
Little Man: “You need a permit to do that”
Me: “Okay, will you issue me with a permit please”?
Little Man: “You need to ring this number to obtain a permit”
Me: “Okay I will do that”
Little Man: “No point doing that it’s closed on the weekend!”
Me (Sarcastically): Okay I will just dump it on the pavement then shall I?”
Little Man: (Seriously): “£3,000 fine if you do that!”
My refuse was duly returned home where it will have to sit for two weeks until the next scheduled collection."
I think that's a definite Ditched Helicopter to CARLISLE CITY COUNCIL

Next comes a REPEAT AWARD!!!
I flew British Aiways from Johannesburg last week (Client booked it) and, as normal, they said that the computer would be selecting certain seats to fill in a confidential questionaire. I was selected and in answer to the final two questions - "What was the single best and worst things about this flight" I answered "The flat bed seats" to the first and "the crew" to the second and handed it in.
10 minutes later the, appallingly titled, Cabin Services Director (Chief Stewardess) came and asked me what was wrong with the crew!!!!
How to get things totally wrong! (incidentally what was wrong with them was that they were careworn, and bordering on the aggressive)
So a repeat Ditched Helicopter Award to BRITISH AIRWAYS

Now for the good news - a Golden Helicopter Award for outstanding service.
I ran a workshop for the delightful GfK Marketing Services recently at their retreat held in the simply delightful Ashford Castle in Galway, Ireland. It is a magical place with fantastic food and outstanding service. Guys you MUST surprise your other halves with a weekend there - and you can fly at a very reasonable price from Luton direct to Galway.
So a Golden Helicopter Award goes to ASHFORD CASTLE
" I would like to nominate the refuse department of Carlisle City Council for a ditched helicopter award.
Last week I was on holiday and my son forgot to put out our refuse which has recently been changed to twice weekly collection. As I did not want to put the refuse in my car I asked my son if I could borrow his works van and take it in that.
When I arrived at the council depot (a journey of about three miles) a little man jumped out of his tin hut and the conversation proceeded as follows:
Little Man: “You can’t bring trade waste in here”
Me: “Its not trade waste it’s my own refuse, I missed the collection earlier in the week”
Little Man: “You can’t come in here with a van weighing over 3.5 ton”
Me: “Okay, I will take my refuse out of the van and wheel it up it the skip on foot”
Little Man: “You need a permit to do that”
Me: “Okay, will you issue me with a permit please”?
Little Man: “You need to ring this number to obtain a permit”
Me: “Okay I will do that”
Little Man: “No point doing that it’s closed on the weekend!”
Me (Sarcastically): Okay I will just dump it on the pavement then shall I?”
Little Man: (Seriously): “£3,000 fine if you do that!”
My refuse was duly returned home where it will have to sit for two weeks until the next scheduled collection."
I think that's a definite Ditched Helicopter to CARLISLE CITY COUNCIL

Next comes a REPEAT AWARD!!!
I flew British Aiways from Johannesburg last week (Client booked it) and, as normal, they said that the computer would be selecting certain seats to fill in a confidential questionaire. I was selected and in answer to the final two questions - "What was the single best and worst things about this flight" I answered "The flat bed seats" to the first and "the crew" to the second and handed it in.
10 minutes later the, appallingly titled, Cabin Services Director (Chief Stewardess) came and asked me what was wrong with the crew!!!!
How to get things totally wrong! (incidentally what was wrong with them was that they were careworn, and bordering on the aggressive)
So a repeat Ditched Helicopter Award to BRITISH AIRWAYS

Now for the good news - a Golden Helicopter Award for outstanding service.
I ran a workshop for the delightful GfK Marketing Services recently at their retreat held in the simply delightful Ashford Castle in Galway, Ireland. It is a magical place with fantastic food and outstanding service. Guys you MUST surprise your other halves with a weekend there - and you can fly at a very reasonable price from Luton direct to Galway.
So a Golden Helicopter Award goes to ASHFORD CASTLE
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Another Ditched Helicopter Award
Here's one from my friend Alan Stevens, the Media Coach:
"I took advantage of Air Canada's online check-in system recently. Being well over six feet tall, I need the leg room provided in the over-wing exit seats. Before I checked in, I phoned the Air Canada office and asked what rows to pick. "18 and 19", I was told, by a very nice man who said he was also very tall, and always booked into those rows at online check-in. So, I went online, only to find that rows 18 and 19 were not available. I rang Air Canada again, and was told this time "You can't book those rows online". "But" I protested "the last time I rang, I was told it was possible". "You can't have been told that" came the reply "and you can't have spoken to anyone here". So there you go. Customer Service nil, Air Canada one."
Definately a Ditched Helicopter Award for Air Canada this one!
"I took advantage of Air Canada's online check-in system recently. Being well over six feet tall, I need the leg room provided in the over-wing exit seats. Before I checked in, I phoned the Air Canada office and asked what rows to pick. "18 and 19", I was told, by a very nice man who said he was also very tall, and always booked into those rows at online check-in. So, I went online, only to find that rows 18 and 19 were not available. I rang Air Canada again, and was told this time "You can't book those rows online". "But" I protested "the last time I rang, I was told it was possible". "You can't have been told that" came the reply "and you can't have spoken to anyone here". So there you go. Customer Service nil, Air Canada one."
Definately a Ditched Helicopter Award for Air Canada this one!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
More Helicopter Service Awards
I'm worried about the Intercontinental Hotel group. The feeling you get these days when you stay in one of their hotels, frankly, is that they're trying everything to rip you off. For example I find in most hotels these days they provide at least one free bottle of water each day. Not in the Intercontinental -- I recently stayed at their Singapore hotel where they wanted to charge you the equivalent of £3 ($6) for a bottle!
As always it is the little things that make the difference -- no free newspaper for example, or a very poor selection of fruit at breakfast.
We have lots of choice in hotels these days -- with outstanding levels of service being set by some that the others simply have to live up to.
Intercontinental Hotels therefore get a ditched Helicopter award.

Now how about this example of putting the customer firmly in his place!
This comes from a friend of mine, Kevin Coulthard, who visited the Selfridges store in Manchester and went to the Illy coffee bar for a coffee and cake.
I'll let him continue: " My wife and I looked at the cakes on display in the counter next to the coffee bar and asked for two cakes, though I cannot remember what exactly they were. There were at least six types of cake on display.
The conversation went along the lines of the following with the names of the real cakes changed for the sake of anonymity
Me – 2 cappuccinos and two chocolate cakes please
Staff - I am sorry you cannot have those cakes only banana or apple
Me – Why? When the cakes I want are next to the ones you want to sell me
Staff – the others are selling fast and we need to sell banana and apple
Me – So you will go the cake counter and pick up apple and banana cakes but not chocolate
Staff – Yes because I can only sell apple and banana cakes
Me - So as the customer I cannot have what I want
Staff – No. Sorry.
Me – I will go elsewhere then
Staff – You can have a chocolate cake to take out
Me – But I cannot buy a chocolate cake to take out and eat it here with a coffee
Staff – No
At this point I was completely demoralised and went to M&S"
I think that's got to deserve a ditched helicopter award for Selfridges!
As always it is the little things that make the difference -- no free newspaper for example, or a very poor selection of fruit at breakfast.
We have lots of choice in hotels these days -- with outstanding levels of service being set by some that the others simply have to live up to.
Intercontinental Hotels therefore get a ditched Helicopter award.

Now how about this example of putting the customer firmly in his place!
This comes from a friend of mine, Kevin Coulthard, who visited the Selfridges store in Manchester and went to the Illy coffee bar for a coffee and cake.
I'll let him continue: " My wife and I looked at the cakes on display in the counter next to the coffee bar and asked for two cakes, though I cannot remember what exactly they were. There were at least six types of cake on display.
The conversation went along the lines of the following with the names of the real cakes changed for the sake of anonymity
Me – 2 cappuccinos and two chocolate cakes please
Staff - I am sorry you cannot have those cakes only banana or apple
Me – Why? When the cakes I want are next to the ones you want to sell me
Staff – the others are selling fast and we need to sell banana and apple
Me – So you will go the cake counter and pick up apple and banana cakes but not chocolate
Staff – Yes because I can only sell apple and banana cakes
Me - So as the customer I cannot have what I want
Staff – No. Sorry.
Me – I will go elsewhere then
Staff – You can have a chocolate cake to take out
Me – But I cannot buy a chocolate cake to take out and eat it here with a coffee
Staff – No
At this point I was completely demoralised and went to M&S"
I think that's got to deserve a ditched helicopter award for Selfridges!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Some Airline Helicopter Awards
British Airways
I've been a massive supporter of British Airways over the years and for some time they really got it right and were the best in the business. However I've had it with them now - my wife and I had a flight from Singapore where the cabin staff were surely, the food inedible and they couldn't turn the temperature of the plane down. It's not good enough and British Airways there fore receive a Ditched Helicopter Award for lousy service.

Singapore Airlines
Emirates Airlines
Singapore Airlines and Emirates Airlines on the other hand are simply the best. I have many excellent example of outstanding service - including recently when my SQ flight developed a fault and we had a plane change.
So both of them get The Golden Helicopter Award for outstanding Service.
I've been a massive supporter of British Airways over the years and for some time they really got it right and were the best in the business. However I've had it with them now - my wife and I had a flight from Singapore where the cabin staff were surely, the food inedible and they couldn't turn the temperature of the plane down. It's not good enough and British Airways there fore receive a Ditched Helicopter Award for lousy service.

Singapore Airlines
Emirates Airlines
Singapore Airlines and Emirates Airlines on the other hand are simply the best. I have many excellent example of outstanding service - including recently when my SQ flight developed a fault and we had a plane change.
So both of them get The Golden Helicopter Award for outstanding Service.
More Helicopter Service Awards
I seem recently to have been experiencing the two extremes - and whilst it's the bad service that sticks in your mind the longest, let me share with you two establishments that leave you with the warm glow of having had a wonderful experience.
Chris, my wife, and I have fallen in love with The Scilly Islands - which for those who don't know, are about 30 miles into the Atlantic off the South West tip of England. We fly there by helicopter (how else!) and we stay the night before the flight in the lovely town of Penzance in Cornwall.
We have discovered a small hotel there, The Camilla House, which is exceptional. Susan and Simon Chapman gave up the rat race in London and moved to Penzance four years ago and they have just finished refurbishing the hotel up to their very high standards. It's very special.
So A Golden Helicopter Award goes to the Camilla House.

On a similar vein I've now stayed at two Shire Hotels in the UK- indeed we ran a recent Professional Speakers Association National Meeting at their Leeds hotel and it's a similar story of service. The staff simply cannot do enough for you, the facilities are excellent .and the food exceptional - and how many hotel chains can you say that about?
A Golden Helicopter Award then to Shire Hotels also.
Chris, my wife, and I have fallen in love with The Scilly Islands - which for those who don't know, are about 30 miles into the Atlantic off the South West tip of England. We fly there by helicopter (how else!) and we stay the night before the flight in the lovely town of Penzance in Cornwall.
We have discovered a small hotel there, The Camilla House, which is exceptional. Susan and Simon Chapman gave up the rat race in London and moved to Penzance four years ago and they have just finished refurbishing the hotel up to their very high standards. It's very special.
So A Golden Helicopter Award goes to the Camilla House.

On a similar vein I've now stayed at two Shire Hotels in the UK- indeed we ran a recent Professional Speakers Association National Meeting at their Leeds hotel and it's a similar story of service. The staff simply cannot do enough for you, the facilities are excellent .and the food exceptional - and how many hotel chains can you say that about?
A Golden Helicopter Award then to Shire Hotels also.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
New Helicopter Service Awards

I find myself increasingly putting the service I receive from organisations into one of two categories either "outstanding" or "lousy" - there doesn't seem to be just 'average' any more.
I've decided, therefore, to introduce and list in my newsletter my new "Golden Helicopter" outstanding service awards and "Ditched Helicopter" lousy service awards
Here on the blog I'm going to share with you the reasons behind each one!Please feel free to comment and to add your own recommendations for awards.
Alfa Romeo
I'm looking at buying a new car - but the experience of trying to do so is simply unbelievable!
I was interested in trying an Alfa Romeo so I went on their website, clicked the "nearest dealer" button and was taken to the Perrys of Aylesbury website. Here I was pleased to find I could book a test drive and did so for 4 p.m. the following Wednesday.
On that Wednesday my wife and I drove the 18 miles to Perry's and walked in to be met by the Sales Manager.
"What can I do for you" he asked
"I've booked a test drive for this afternoon" I replied
"What here?" He responded
"Yes" I said "at 4 p.m."
"give me a minute" he responded and walked away.
A salesman then appeared whose first words were:
"I'm not from here, I'm from next door but I'll try and answer any questions you have."
"am I right there is not a diesel automatic option on the Brera?" I enquired
"I'm sure there is -- but I'll check " he responded and went off
he returned "no -- you're right there isn't that option"
the Sales Manager then reappeared with the words
"we don't have any test cars here but I've talked to Amersham and they have one" (note Amersham is 16 miles away)
The salesman then enquired "is anything else we can do for you?"
"Yes" I replied "I would very much like you to try and sell me a car!"
believe it or not the response from both was complete silence!
My wife and I walked out without another word.
How can a company get it so wrong?
Alfa Romeo are therefore the first recipients of the Ditched Helicopter lousy service award.

Audi
I then decided to look at the Audi TT car and went onto their website. In this case you could request a test drive of a specific model directly from the main website and this I did. I immediately got an e-mail confirming receipt and advising me that someone would contact me within 24 hours to tell me where and when I could drive the specific model I had requested. Great German efficiency!
However.............. four days later I had heard nothing. I therefore telephoned Audi head office and explained the situation and was told "you should have heard" to which I responded "but I haven't" to which he said "but you should have done".
"can I please take your details, Sir, and I will arrange it directly?"
"I've already spent a long time completing your forms when I applied through the website." I responded
"sorry sir we don't have access to that database - I'll have to go through it again"
So we spend some time doing that and I explained that I wished to test drive an Audi TT,2 litre automatic and that I would travel to anywhere in the country if necessary. She assured me that someone would ring me within 24 hours to fix it up.
One day later I had a telephone call from Oxford Audi:
"I understand you wish to test drive and Audi TT 2litre" he said.
"Yes" I said
"we don't have one" he said "we only have the larger engine -- it's extremely difficult to get hold of Audi demonstrators these days"
"I don't understand why you've rang me" I said "since I made it very clear that I only wish to test the specific model that I'm thinking of buying"
"I only rang you because head office told me to" he replied.
The next day Audi head office rang me back saying that they understood that Oxford Audi had been unable to help me. I replied that as I had made clear I wished to drive the specific model that I was thinking of buying and that I would travel anywhere in the country to do so.
"Leave it with me" she said.
Two days later I happened to be driving through Reading - relatively close to my home - and noticed an Audi dealer. I called in and was met salesman Raj Charan who single-handedly saved Audi and ensured that I would end up buying an Audi car. He was courteous, interested and happy to explain all about the vehicle. His response to my question "I'd like I test drive a TT 2 litre automatic, if that's possible" was
"of course I can have one here for Thursday if that's okay, what time would you like me to fix it for?"
"4 p.m. please -- and my wife will join me"
"that's fine" he said "you can have the vehicle for 45 minutes if that's okay and whilst you're doing that I'll look your existing car over so I can give you a trade-in value when you and your wife return"
At that moment my mobile phone rang and it was the lady from Audi head office
"I've found you a car to test drive, but the nearest to you is in Salisbury - 80 miles away"
"no it isn't" I replied "I'm in Reading Audi at the moment and they've arranged a test drive for me here this week"
"Oh - (silence) - good - you're satisfied then"
As a result of this experience I am going to make two awards:
Firstly,just like Alfa Romeo, Audi get a Ditched Helicopter award for their complete inability to have a joined up operation that "walks the talk".

The second award however is a our very first Golden Helicopter award for outstanding service and it goes to the Audi Reading salesman, Raj Charan, because he alone got Audi out of the mess they had created and got them an order. He represents everything good that you should experience when dealing with the company as a prospective customer.
Well Done Raj!

There's a postscript to the Audi story. Two weeks later I was telephoned by a marketing company working on behalf of Audi asking me to rate my experience of seeking a test drive. I took them through the whole story to which they responded "it happens all the time - you wouldn't believe the stories we hear"!!!
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About Me
- Roger Harrop
- Roger Harrop, The CEO Expert, has spent over 25 years leading international business at the highest level, ultimately a plc, putting him in a unique position to deal with contemporary business challenges. He is ranked in the top 10 of Management and Strategy Speakers worldwide by Speaker Wiki and twice voted by the members of The Academy for Chief Executives 'Speaker of the Year' He is an, Oxford, UK based, international motivational business growth speaker who inspires and entertains his audiences with his acclaimed Staying in the Helicopter® programmess. Over 20000 CEOs, business leaders in 40 countries have achieved transformational change through his thought provoking and entertaining talks laced with real-life stories, anecdotes and humour. Roger is an author, accredited SME business advisor, mentor, and independent director and has run businesses for major multi-national corporations. He is a Past-President of The Professional Speakers Association, a former Vice-President of The Institution of Mechanical Engineers, and a Liveryman with The Worshipful Company of Marketers.